It was much much later in my life that I realised that my life could be lessons to thousands out there. I am the way I am because I can pass lessons to all out there. What better way to welcome my 50th Birthday than by penning down the lessons that I learnt in 49 years of my life. If these pieces of my journey can bring about some meaning to your happy moments, your tears, your challenges, your relationships and your life, I take a bow to the universe, because that would make one of my dreams come true. These lessons are free-flowing thoughts, so it could be personal lessons and professional ones, take what you love and leave what you don’t for someone else.
- Health is in your HEAD – I was born with a hole in a heart. It healed after 12 years without surgery. It was purely because of my father’s rock-solid belief that he would not put his daughter under the scalpel. He took the toughest route – Homeopathy and his trust on the universe that I will have the strongest heart that any human being could have & it happened. My heart has taken a million blows and it stands strong even today. I have been fat since my teens and my never-ending weight loss plans never got me to look slim.
Today, I call myself “Fat & Fit” at this age. I can go hours of workouts, days without a meal, my skin still glows like a teen and not a single wrinkle on me. Also, I have not done and don’t intend to take any extraordinary measures to avoid wrinkles, I tell my kids, I would be the sexiest grandmom in town :).
And finally, today, I might be COVID19 positive (awaiting results). I was one of the direct contacts, as I got my mother admitted into the hospital and she tested positive, but who cares? I test my stats every day, I do my workouts at home, listen to music, dance my moments out and smile at what tomorrow can bring and be grateful for what I have this minute. So, remember – shit happens! You cannot run from it, all you can do is pass through it. As you do that, you don’t have to feel miserable, you don’t have to feel the “why me?’s” “why now?’s”. Leave that to the universe and walk like a boss through it all.
- Mistakes are meant to HAPPEN – You are not a machine, you are a human, humans are meant to make mistakes. I did not fight to continue studies after 10th. I did not say a no to early marriage. I did not demand my basic rights in my marriage. I did not put my needs out there. I fell out of love with my husband and did not let him know. I never nurtured my kids like a mother. I walked around with my heart in my sleeves and fell in love every second day. I gave everything I had to every on-going love. I took my professional decisions based on my personal attachments to people. I let go of my sensibilities for other’s foolishness. Never questioned other’s wrongs and took the brunt for their wrongs on myself. Always felt I had to give to be loved, I gave to family, friends, neighbours, partners, investors, employees, connections and kept giving, never ever questioned if I was getting anything in return.
I have burnt out myself, my health, my dreams, my wealth and everything in-between. Today, I would not want to change any of it. Because if I take anything out of this equation, I would not be who I am today. So, I accept every bit of it as mine – mistakes as mine and I am ready to undo the wrongs, take lessons and walk with my head held high.
Can I assure I will do no more mistakes going ahead, hell no… I am just ready with my bag full of lessons from my past 49 years to make a new set of mistakes in the coming times. So, remember, it is of no use to avoid mistakes. It is going to happen to you, you will end up doing something wrong, so do it, realise it, correct it, pick your lessons from it & move on with it…
- Life is meaningless without a DREAM – Life in its whole is a dream to our soul. I dreamt of growing old & dying; when everyone thought I would die of my heart condition. I dreamt that I would go to be a business leader; when I was married off at 17. I dreamt that I would die loving my husband; ended being separated. I dreamt that I had found the love of my life and then my soulmate; nothing of that sort happened. I dreamt that I had found my dream unicorn business in 2013 and worked my ass off towards it for 8 years; shutters got pulled down on it too, I dreamt a million dreams and nothing seem to be coming true but it’s not over yet.
I am here, just freaking 50 years, so all those dreams that I dreamt and feel that did not come true can actually still do. I would die healthy & warm in my bed, when really old; I would still find my one true love who could be my soulmate; I would still go to make my existing small business into a mega business; I could still do so much more.
So, don’t let go of any of your dreams. If you stop and think, and you feel you do not have a dream, it is high time you have one. So, remember, a dream is like that cheese for the rat, that makes it run. So make a run for that dream and as long as you keep running, you would be healthy, you would find so many new things, people happen to you. Let life happen to you, dream away.
- Being alone is not WRONG – There is an old saying “You were born alone and will one day die alone”. When being born alone was so beautiful, when did living alone become such a big issue. I have always been someone who felt I had to have a village around me. I grew up in a joint family with my maternal family all around, in fact, I did not even have a room for myself. I never raised a voice asking for my space. I was not supposed to; it was disrespectful.
Then got married into a huge family, 7 brothers 1 sister and their families, Sundays or travel would be filled with people in every corner of the vehicle. My husband and I literally got a room, that was the size of a storeroom in the house. I loved every bit of that tiny space. Moving out of marriage, I lived in a house with my 3 kids and a friend for a decade. I never thought that it need not be that way. Finally, when I let everyone move into their own places and I moved into my own place; I felt miserable, sad, down, as if I had done the worst thing in my life. As if I was a bad person, a bad mother, a bad friend, a bad human being for choosing to be by myself.
I remember, people trying to sympathise with me for being along at this age. Like literally. I can tell you this much after all this, you are alone in the crowd – always. You are just with yourself and your thoughts, deep inside your heart, you do not get everything that you want. If you think I am wrong, close your eyes now, think for a minute, who are you and what do you want in life? If the crowd (family, friends, neighbours) is able to give you want?
You will get your answer. We are anyway incomplete. What we want can be got only by ourselves. So, remember, being alone is the best thing that can happen to you, you are true to yourself and to everyone you come in contact with. You do what you believe in and you do not fear being wrong. At least once in life, before you are done, you must choose to be alone. Know yourself, the true self you are.
- Own your own SHIT – All my life, I told myself that the world had wronged me. My parents got me married young; my husband loved me less or showed it rarely; my love never loved me back as I would have wanted him to; my soulmate could not connect; my business could not be run well; my partner could not be more; my team could not be enough; my life was a result of everything going wrong for me.
It is these last few months, I decided to own my own shit. I literally took my whole life and turned it open for myself (with professional help) and it all unravelled itself to me. All I had to do from the day one was to own what was mine. My life, My mistakes, My choices, My wins, My defeats, My slips and My climbs.
Once I did that, there was no way, anyone external could touch me, hurt me, make me feel any less and stop me from what I plan to achieve. So, remember, you have to take what is yours, even if it all stinks like a dead animal or rotten garbage. You take it and own it and you will see how things will change for you from the very next minute.
As I said, 49 did good for me. I am even more excited for the coming years. Especially in this new COVID world & to see what the universe has in store for me. But, whatever it is, I am bloody sure, that it will be one hell of a ride. Welcoming my 50 and plus years with super wide open arms…